Past wounds, bullying, abuse, – created a monster inside me. It wrapped around my mind, tightening its grip whenever I tried to step outside my comfort zone. Anxiety didn’t just whisper; it roared.
When I stayed with friends, I fought against an invisible force that paralyzed me. I needed to go home. I needed to hug my mom not just once but repeatedly, as if each embrace might quiet the storm inside me. But it never did. The compulsion only grew, pulling me back again and again, until sometimes, I ultimately gave in and canceled my plans.
Even leaving the house turned into a battle. I had to check the door, ensuring it was shut, locked, and safe. Once wasn’t enough. Twice wasn’t sufficient. I would check repeatedly, terrified that if I didn’t check our door, our cat might escape. My mind refused to believe what my eyes saw, trapping me in a loop I couldn’t escape.
This prison of compulsions stole moments I should have spent with family, friends, and life. Breaking free wasn’t easy—it took time, effort, and sheer willpower. And even now, I know that monster still lingers in the shadows. Maybe it always will, but I will always be ready for the battle.
Do you struggle from OCD or anxiety?
Sandy’s Stories and Tales 
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